diff --git a/bin/how-npm-am-i.js b/bin/how-npm-am-i.js
index d090f45..b7d7fa9 100755
--- a/bin/how-npm-am-i.js
+++ b/bin/how-npm-am-i.js
@@ -29,6 +29,13 @@ hnai
 	.packages(username)
 	.then(function(pkgnames) {
 		console.info('');
+		if (!pkgnames.length) {
+			console.info("You've published " + pkgnames.length + ' packages to npm. Hmm.');
+			console.info('Well, we all have to start somewhere.... except maybe you.... you just... keep doing you. 👍');
+			console.info('');
+			process.exit(1337);
+			return;
+		}
 		console.info("You've published " + pkgnames.length + ' packages to npm and you get...');
 		hnai.downloads(pkgnames).then(function(downloads) {
 			var total = downloads.reduce(function(sum, el) {